Thursday, March 29, 2012

Review # 130: Does He Cheat? Confessions from Men - 50 Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating by Sterling Anderson and Stephanie Dart

     Does He Cheat?... is an eye-opening look into the minds of cheating husbands. Sterling Anderson and Stephanie Dart have interviewed men from around the world to figure out why and how men get away with cheating on their wives; and the answers are startling. Signs of cheating include, but are not limited to: dead cell phones, fights, excessive password protection, unexplained credit card bills, late night phone calls, new underwear, abstaining from sex with your partner, hidden gifts, cheating friends, etc. 

     I am not currently married or dating, but if I was, this book would probably scare me into believing I was being cheated on. I understand the premise of Does He Cheat?..., especially if a woman is already suspicious of her partner, but some of the signs are so general that they probably apply to most men both in and out of relationships. For example: having cell phone or computer passwords, having parents or friends that are cheaters, leaving loose receipts in the car or in pockets, and buying new underwear all strike me as less than evidentiary. My male and female friends agree, just because a man likes his privacy, is unorganized, and buys his own undergarments doesn't mean that he has a mistress. As for the parent/friend cheater connection, I don't believe that a person can be genetically predisposed to unfaithfulness and adulteress behaviors. Can they influence someone's decisions? Absolutely, but I know men whose fathers cheated on their mothers, and because of that betrayal they detest men - and women - who have to audacity to mess around. Don't get me wrong, I do see a lot of validity in the fifty signs, but the authors should make it clear that not every flaw in a man's character is a cause for concern; (I do realize that the cover states, "50 Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating", but in the text that point isn't made quite clear). Maybe it is because I am currently single that I don't see these "signs" as cheater "tells", and if that is how it seems, please excuse my naivety, but unless you are already suspicious of a cheating boyfriend or husband, you probably shouldn't read this book; don't start problems where there are none.
     Now, since I have gotten that rant out of my system, here's what I like about the book, the overall set-up, the length, the writing style (dedication, advice, and final words), and the stories from real cheaters. The book aims to warn women of men's tricks, and what to look for if they suspect infidelity. I may not agree with some of the authors' ideas, but the book does achieve what it is meant to. Now I am very curious about what the prospective "Does She Cheat?" would tell men to look for...

Rating: Bounty's Out (3/5)

*** I received this book from Little, Brown, and Company in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

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